{"id":124326,"date":"2015-09-05T21:47:00","date_gmt":"2015-09-06T04:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/knobro2.dreamhosters.com\/?post_type=product&#038;p=124326"},"modified":"2025-11-18T16:47:32","modified_gmt":"2025-11-19T00:47:32","slug":"the-melon-affair-starring-uschi-digard","status":"publish","type":"product","link":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/product\/the-melon-affair-starring-uschi-digard\/","title":{"rendered":"THE MELON AFFAIR starring USCHI DIGARD"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 1\">\n<div class=\"section\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p><strong>THE MELON AFFAIR<\/strong> aka <strong>UP YOUR ALLEY<\/strong> (1971, 70 min, <strong>Haji<\/strong>, <strong>Uschi Digard<\/strong>) A horny and nerdy virgin lands a catering job at a film party filled with busty actresses just like the ones he fantasizes about all day long. But his good fortune doesn\u2019t last long as he accidentally causes the death of a Mafia don whom he must impersonate amidst a jewel-smuggling plot. A screwball big-titty sex-comedy that only could have been made in the 1970s,<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE MELON AFFAIR<\/strong> is a perfect example of the genre. Includes must-see footage such as <strong>Haji<\/strong> (<strong>FASTER PUSSYCAT, KILL KILL<\/strong>) riding topless on a motorcycle and Uschi performing a messy ice cream massage! Also includes bonus feature <strong>PRISON GIRLS<\/strong> (1972, 95 min, <strong>Maria Arnold<\/strong>, <strong>Linda York<\/strong>, Marsha Jordan, <strong>Uschi Digard<\/strong>, <strong>Neola Graff<\/strong>)!<\/p>\n<p>Total running time: 165 min.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>THE MELON AFFAIR aka UP YOUR ALLEY (1971, 70 min, Haji, Uschi Digard) A horny and nerdy virgin lands a catering job at a film party filled with busty actresses just like the ones he fantasizes about all day long. But his good fortune doesn\u2019t last long as he accidentally causes the death of a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":124327,"template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"product_brand":[],"product_cat":[19],"product_tag":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-124326","1":"product","2":"type-product","3":"status-publish","4":"has-post-thumbnail","6":"product_cat-feature-films","7":"product_shipping_class-dvd","9":"first","10":"instock","11":"taxable","12":"shipping-taxable","13":"purchasable","14":"product-type-simple"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product\/124326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/product"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/124327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=124326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"product_brand","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product_brand?post=124326"},{"taxonomy":"product_cat","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product_cat?post=124326"},{"taxonomy":"product_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.alphabluearchives.com\/store\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product_tag?post=124326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}